Overcoming Envy with Wisdom and Guidance | Biblical Perspective
The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
One of the first things we must learn to do as Christians is to trust God in our walk with Christ. If we choose to ignore Jesus, then we choose to live outside the covering of his blood. In other words, we choose to sip the cup of demons—1 Corinthians 10:21.
So let’s break down every act of the flesh to better understand how to recognize our need for Jesus. Today we will cover Envy.
Envy
The painful or resentful feeling that arises when it becomes apparent that a person has an advantage over you, and you desire to possess the same benefit. Jealousy’s true nature is the feeling that bubbles up when a person, place, or thing that we cover own or possess gains more attention from an outside influence than from the jealous party. See The Jealousy Filter. Bitter Jealousy or Envy and self-ambition give birth to sin. In other words, a person becomes consumed over the advantage (the Fruit) versus the attention (the Root).
But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
James 3:14
What does THAT mean?!
Example: Carl and Janet (Fiction)
Janet went to get her oil changed downtown at the local auto shop. George, the mechanic, had been flirty and a tad bit charming. He tried to eventually convince her that he was down to do a little something with her. As flattered as she was, she declined and told him she’s married. He understood and tried to convince her in a different way. She instantly thought it strange that George didn’t care that she was married. Although she recognized the warning sign in her mind, she was enjoying herself.
“It’s been awhile since someone paid this much attention to me”, she thought.
Janet turned him down again. She knew in her head it was wrong yet she was fascinated by the advance. After all, Carl hasn’t treated her this way in years. After she left the auto shop, she kept thinking about the interaction with George. She never did forget how he made her feel. All well, she loves her husband Carl. Right?!
A week later Janet finds out that her husband had been cheating on her. Janet became infuriated. What made her so upset was that she didn’t suspect a thing. If only she knew Carl was up to no good, she wouldn’t have said no to George at the auto shop. George just seems like the type that would treat her better. Right?!
How does James 3:14 apply to Janet?
*The following are examples and is not exhaustive*
Boast – (Bitter Envy): I can’t believe Carl cheated on me. If I knew he would do something like this, I would never have said no to George. In fact I’m going to go see George because I know he knows how to please me.
Boast – (Selfish): I’m going to get George back for the way he hurt me. I’ll do it when he least expects it. I don’t even care. He doesn’t love me anymore, so I will find someone who will.
Deny – (Bitter Envy): It’s ok, honey. It hurts to know you cheated, but it’s whatever. We can work it out. Yet she thinks, “Well if he can do it, so can I.”
Deny – (Selfish): Avoids interaction, sits on the phone all day, makes up reasons to divide and separate. Acts as thought it never happened or chooses to accept adultery as normal. Internally hurting and confused, division seems to alleviate the tention. For example, she sleeps in the bedroom, and he sleeps on the couch.
James 3:15 says that in all the above scenarios Godly wisdom was not utilized. The wisdom that came to the mind to solve each scenerio that way is demonic wisdom. The path a person takes by following demonic wisdom will create disorder, chaos and will eventually lead to a death. Death in finances, relationship(s), and/or mental. In other words, a seperation from life in different areas of your life will occur.
The question now becomes, how do I avoid the horrorific scenerios as described above, and all the curses that seek out such wisdom?
James 3:17-18 is the answer. The wisdom that comes from heaven is, first of all, pure. Conficlt Resolution from God’s perspective is the greater way to deal with all life thows at us. That doesn’t mean no one will get angry or that there will be zero hurt or pain. It means looking for a way to get through the situation with love and not destruction.
Peacemakers, who sow in peace, will reap righteousness.
What does that look like for Janet? The options are not limited to this list.
1. Marriage Counseling for her and her husband. The purpose of counseling is to weed through the fruit and get to the root of the matter. Janet’s real issue is that she feels as though Carl doesn’t love her anymore. That one thought lead to her feeling like she is not enough. Her image was killed off. She would describe her feeling as if she was put on the back burner. Her self-worth was destroyed. She thinks that her house is no longer a home. In other words, a death occured in her relationship with Carl.
It is natural to consider that the answer to the problem is to replace the husband. However, I would advise this to only be a viable option if the husband chooses not to do whatever it takes to work things out with Janet. Even if things go that direction, always end the marriage first before entering a new relationship. See Sex, Love, & Marriage IV: Divorce.
2. Janet can get bible believing church leaders involved to help mitigate issues. If the pain is great, she needs to separate from her home. That is perfectly fine as long as she does not throw herself into the arms of another.
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:5
The goal is to fast and pray. In other words, get our King involved. Jesus is more than willing to intervene. We must go to him in Spirit and Truth.
There is nothing wrong with a break; however, it should be an introspective look into the Word of God and a reminder of who she is in Jesus. Fasting will help her fall before God and gain greater personal insight. Another way to say that is, she would be looking to hear a more personal Word from God, beyond the written. Just remember, God never contradicts himself. The more we know his written Word, the more he reveals his secret will for us, to us.
3. She can also try to talk to her husband to facilitate reconciliation. In other words, be forthright and honest and be done. It’s ok to grieve, but it’s not ok to lash out and tear things apart. If her husband Carl is genuinely repentant, he will understand the struggle and the fight that she deals with and agree to let the church help him fast and pray.
Janet must do whatever it takes to seek God and not her fleshly desire to destroy and worsen things. Remember, demons will try to find ways to divert our attention off the trth of Jesus and get us to think that their wisdom is the best way to handle the situation.
If Janet surrenders to Jesus and holds onto his Word in spirit and truth, she will reap a far greater reward than anything the devil can offer. How do we know this?
Jesus said so in Matthew 5:2b-12.
He said:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
For those of you reading this who can think through and remember pain of this magnitude. Maybe there are those reading this that are going through it right now. Some will go through trials like this or will in the near future. No matter who you are, there should be only be one question to ask…
Even though it hurts and I’m in searing pain, will I give in to my sinful human nature and destroy everything in my path, or will I choose to believe God and gain the rewards he has for me?
You are the only one who can answer that question. It is a choice we all make. However, let’s be clear; there is no life outside of Jesus. The deception is that there is life outside Christ, but the reality is it’s just death.
Let me be absolutely clear, the above was just an example. It can apply to anyone, man or womean. Envy will make a person feel a sense of entitlement; contemplate revenge & will destroy your home.
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
Proverbs 14:1
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